Monday, June 22, 2009

The Stars Speak Volumes When Traveling

I haven’t seen the night sky this bright, this close up since the time my friend and I rode our bikes 20 km uphill to Nagarkot, a small remote village near Kathmandu, Nepal known for its amazing mountain top views. When we arrived, we were, what felt to me, on top of the world. In the fading daylight, we could see rolling green mountains from every direction. Then at night, the silence and the dark night sky blanketed us like we were the only ones who existed under this brilliant canopy of living night suns. That feeling, however, of being alone before the universe was hardly a lonely feeling at all. Rather than feeling our existence grow diminutive in comparison to the vastness before us, I felt more as if our presence was just as significant in the universe as each and every star in the sky. It was a feeling that every living being, down to a single blade of grass, made up the richness of life here on Earth, and we existed amongst a great universe of pulsating life – equivalent to the pulsating lights in the night sky. We all had a right to be here. We all had a place and purpose in the universe.

The stars are so vibrant, so almost within my reach in Gulu that although I am not on the top of a mountain like in Nepal, I am taken back to that feeling of being swallowed whole by something greater than myself. As I sit out on the back balcony of our apartment amongst the night time cricket noises soaking in the starlight, I realize how thirsty I have been for connection back to Mother Nature. The stars have a timeless quality about them, and I sit here wondering if my African ancestors looked up to the stars and felt the same vastness that blurs of the boundaries separating human from plant, animal, and starlight. I laugh when I think how quick humans are to discern themselves from the rest of the animal kingdom. We may think, build cities, have politics, own land, but we forget we are made up of the same particles as insects, animals, and heavenly orbs. We might be the most biologically complex of all living things, but for that purpose, we then have the greatest responsibility to care for all the others creatures on Earth and the Earth herself. These are the messages that I feel in the presence of Mother Nature, these are the messages that get lost living in big cities, in the 9 to 5 scurry, in the money making flurry of corporations, in the decision making haggle of politicians, in the furrowed brows of scientists determined to advance technology, and in humanity’s desperate efforts to get ahead. How do we temper progress with these very simple and timeless realizations?

It has been interesting to be here in Africa and feel nostalgia for all the other places I have been to. I know that once I leave Uganda, I will ache for Africa as well. Places seem to leave a mark on your heart like old lovers do. There’s always an ache to return, but you know that if you do it won’t ever be as you knew it before. I hope this perception of mine changes because I know that my path in life will consist of much more traveling, and I can’t imagine feeling this ache for so many places. And it’s not so much the country as it is the company that I’ve kept, the different faces of Mother Nature that I’ve seen, and the lessons I have taken with me. When I think about the sun setting over the Western desert in Siwa, Egypt, I still hold my breath at the memory of the beauty of sun reflecting over an ocean of sand and the love and connection I felt in that moment for the company at my side. In Ecuador, it was the churches that held me in awe, and I remember laughing with friends so hard until my sides hurt climbing the tower of a basilica because we didn’t know if we would ever reach the top. In the Philippines, it was the deep, deep connection to the land, people, and history that because here held my roots, here held half of my heritage. And Nepal holds my heart in the Hindu temples, Buddhist stupas, rolling mountains, and intimate connections I made with all whom I met there. I know I may not get back to all those places in my lifetime or the many more I will see in the future. Yet I mourn the company that I kept in many of those places, the love and connection I felt with the people whom I met, traveled with, and guided me along the way.

I know that I am weaving something here with these 3 other individuals that I'm working with. The work we are doing is simple, but I think we are all well aware, on different levels, of the mission and the vision we’re trying to live out. We all come from different backgrounds and grew up in different parts of the world, and already I am fascinated by the differences in experiences and the interesting perspectives we bring to this work. I wonder how we will all part ways and what parts of this journey we will bring back with us to inform the work that we do in the future.

If through traveling, the universe continues to offer me life in such fullness of diverse people and experiences, then I pray to the Divine to keep them coming despite the ache I will feel at the end of each journey. For I know that only through expansion and connection with others from different cultures and vantage points am I able to expand and transcend my own limitations – my personal biases, my value judgments, and my own narrow thinking. Only through dialogue with others can we understand the variety and vastness of the human experience. Only through dialogue are we able to confront our own privilege as we attempt to empathize with the situations of others who experience suffering to degrees we will never be able to relate to. Only through dialogue and connection are we humbled. We are humbled before the infinite number of stars in the sky, but more importantly, before each other.

1 comment:

  1. dearest kristen,
    what a beautiful post. thank you. i have held and still hold all of the above sentiments and thoughts and aspirations in my heart... but havent had the time to write them down.. .and for some reason feel more connected to you through the experience of looking up at the stars and feeling the vastness of the universe, creation, life... anyhow, more to say and i will try to write you back when time alows. but please know you are thought of.. and i am wishing you and the whole one world crew and everyone you are in contact with well. hugs, heddy

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